holiday or home
Thursday, March 29, 2007
First day in San Francisco. I drove straight to Golden Gate Park and walked around 'my' old haunt, the North Lake. I felt so alive, energised. I wondered if I would be similarly inspired by the sea, and was a bit disappointed, but proud to admit that my hometown Ventura has one of the best beaches (sand, surf, views, not thronged by tourists, don't need to be a movie star to afford to lie on them) in the world.
Walked through Lindley Meadow among the groves of Eucalyptus, Fir and Pine, then sat for a while with my back against a Red Cedar, contemplating my future. What should I do? Should I move back? Could I do it? It scares me, the change. I sought refuge in the tiny health food shops along Fillmore street, looking at the lotions, the aromatherapy oils, all so familiar now, and yet different. I started writing down the names of 'our competitors', wanting to return to NYR and say, 'send me back to SF now, I will find our new store and set it up for you.'
My two friends here are from my past, the world of western medicine, drugs for everything, doctors. One has gone the traditional job, marriage, kids route. The other I see tomorrow - still very much a city girl, I believe. Where would I fit? My friend's father reminded me of it yesterday 'You have a variety of accents'. I want to speak with my own voice, and I think I am finding it, albeit slowly.
I wish I knew where I would be in a year. But for now, I will try to remind myself that I am on holiday, and here to have fun!
Posted byKarma at Thursday, March 29, 2007
Labels: home
