Mewsings

How to make brussels sprouts taste like candy

2008-09-09T21:27:00.000-07:00

Until al dente, steam
Lightly fry in turmeric butter
I had two helpings
bliss

love affair with vita mix day 3

2008-07-19T17:28:00.001-07:00

Breakfast:
Started with Farmers Market Chantarais Melon.
Then made Spelt-Wheat-Pecan Bread (it kneads bread). It was my first loaf of yeasted bread, ever, it was a bit moist and it didn't rise completely, but still tasted delicious, sith fried eggs.

Prepare 1pkt yeast with 1c water and 1TBS Honey. Set aside for a bit.
1c spelt flour
3/4c wheat flour (next time use 1c)
Put flours in dry blender and whizz to make a well in center. (Next time grind the grain).
Add yeast mixture, 1TBSP caramalized ghee and 1/4c finely chopped pecans.
knead using Vitamethod (on and off quickly until it forms a dough ball)
Turn into a 41/2inx81/2in loaf pan, and let rise 15-25min
bake at 350 degrees for 30-40min

Afternoon:
chips and guac with virgin mojito

3 lemons (peel and quarter) (fresh meyer lemons from the garden, I can eat them like oranges they are so amazing)
1 heaped TBSP evaporated cane juice
1-2 mint leaves
1/4c water
3/4c ice

blend. pour into glass and drink. sigh and smile.

Joined a foodie cult

2008-07-17T19:47:00.000-07:00

and bought a Vita Mix. I now look at everything with new eyes.
Could I blend that? How would I make that with my Vita Mix?

First recipe was last night, a simple carrot soup, cooked while blending - it blends so fast it comes out hot! It was ok, but I could do way better.

Tonight the food muse blessed me:

Whole wheat spiral pasta with Sun Dried Sweet Pepper and Asparagus sauce

Threw peppers in VM with hot water to rehydrate
Poured off a bit of hot water, added the bottom bits from grilled asparagus
A pinch of ginger powder and 1/4 pinch of salt
Blended till smooth
Mixed sauce with pasta and threw asparagus tips and garlic pieces on top
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

2008-06-29T17:28:00.000-07:00

What is your opinion of PETA? How do you view them? I've been curious about working with them recently. My first thing is the pictures I try not to look at when I walk by their booths, but whats behind that?

another beautiful day in paradise

2008-05-12T15:11:00.001-07:00

I am really starting to like Mondays. There is a quietness to the homes and gardens around my little cottage. Just me and the rhubarb, marigold, balm. My digitalis is flowering beautifully, sweet white and violet throated blossoms.

I made my first batch of curds and whey this weekend.

Curds taste like cream cheese. Raw organic cream cheese. yum.

I also made my first (huge! food for the week) batch of Kicharee last night. It is an ayurvedic food that balances all doshas (types), incredibly nutritive, detoxifying yet supporting. It feels so good to eat it.

this is turning into a food blog

2008-05-04T12:37:00.000-07:00

Menu
fresh blackberries with cardamom, brown sugar and yoghurt cream
apple and banana granola pancakes with butter and maple syrup
jasmine pearl tea

Sunday is off to a good start.
Time to walk the gourmet ghetto and see if I can find some light mischief.

Best quick meal ever

2008-04-15T21:46:00.000-07:00

Grabbed some sprouting broccoli and a package of salmon kebabs with greens at TJs on the way home from work-
Came home, dropped my bags, threw the Broccoli in a steamer and the salmon and greens on my grill (best pan purchase ever - get one now), with olive oil, smoked sea salt and red wine vinegar. I seared the salmon so it was rare inside and the greens got slightly crispy with the high heat - wow.

Breakfast was also a religious experience but I won't bore you except to say that I am SERIOUSLY thinking of writing a cookbook. Working title: Karmacuisine - the yogic practice of cooking

Or something like that.

Also finished chapter 1 today of my herbal medicine course and found a great quote from Hippocrates:

Let your medicine be your food and your food, medicine.

7 of Pentacles

2008-03-30T22:23:00.000-07:00

The Seven of Pentacles is a time-out card. It represents those moments after a rush of activity when we stop to catch our breath and look around. The man in the picture has paused to contemplate the fruits of his own labors, but he could also pick that fruit. In readings, the Seven of Pentacles can indicate a reward that will come your way, particularly as a result of your own efforts. Take it and enjoy.

This card is also a call for assessment. When we're busy, we don't always have time to reflect on what we're doing and why. Are we still on course? Are we getting the results we want? Serious problems can develop if you don't take stock at key moments. In readings, this card suggests that you take the time to be sure you're meeting your goals.

I am a member of Gilligan's crew, a play within a play
tossed ashore by an o'er busy sea of hopes, dreams, Expectations
Kidnapped by the Native Men, defiled/deified, bewildered, heartsore.
Where is Spirit? AncesTor? Show me the gate and I will walk through.

Cook, Bless, Eat#2

2008-03-18T19:48:00.000-07:00

Tonight I made fried polenta with sauteed mushrooms, fennel, and crispy buttery sage. It turned out rather nice, although I am still learning how to crisp my sage just right - I managed one good leaf out of 5.
Work is physically demanding now, and strangely, mentally demanding too - we are setting a new store, and putting products into just the right places and checking numbers is a bit of torture - but the team are great and I love the neighborhood we are in, there is a fabulous food market just 5 mins walk away. Funny - I used to think about clothes and shoes, now I think about fancy condiments and organic vegetables. Anything that says 'raw' on the label - I have to buy it and taste it (I had raw sauerkraut last night, full of prebiotics, amazing).
Trying to muster the courage now to go to anna's jazz island - its open mike night - and I didn't organize far enough in advance to bring a friend along, so should I go on my own and belt out a jazz tune or two?

winelibrary

2008-03-15T21:06:00.000-07:00

My pal Brandon sent me this link. This guy is awesome!

Cook, Bless, Eat

2008-03-13T22:49:00.000-07:00

Organic Lacintano (Curly Leaf) Kale with Saffron Turmeric Rice

Ingredients (Organic)
Ghee (Clarified Butter)
1/2 tsp Fresh Turmeric
Saffron
Approx 2/3c White Basmati Rice
1 head of Curly Leaf Kale, destalked and cut in chiffron
1 Medium Onion
2-3 Cloves Garlic
Smoked Sea Salt

1st Prepare Rice
Melt approx 1TBS ghee in a large soup pot, add turmeric and rice and stir until rice is translucent. Then add a few strands of saffron and water, cover and simmer until rice is cooked.

While rice is cooking:
Melt 2-3 tsp ghee in a saucepan, add onion and cook until translucent and slightly browned. Add garlic, brown for around 1/2 minute, add kale and cook until soft. Just before finished, add a generous pinch of smoked sea salt and stir. If needed, can add a teaspoon of ghee to moisten just before serving.

serves 2 as a side dish or 1 hungry person as a lovely late-night meal.

The Tower

2008-02-24T13:13:00.000-08:00

Listen to the cards Karma. Oh I WISH I'd gone to the Ardantane workshop on Valentine's day! I feel I am forcing relationships and old patterns that I should be past now, and my body is fed up and it is shutting me down. On Monday after a particularly stressful evening with a person I have been dating on and off, I tripped going down the steps and hurt my ankle. So no dancing now - that sweet escape has begun to foster clouds of illusion anyway, this seems yet another message. Last night I got food poisioning - and today I really feel the need to go to my women's group (which I have missed for two weeks just because of 'funner' plans), to be there and feel supported but I feel so unwell I can't seem to get out of bed - just making a cup of tea is tiring.
Last Saturday at Pan workshop I drew the Death Card - it frightened me but I also had a feeling that things are needing to die in me so that I can move forward. I didn't account for this being quite so painful, but I did commit to facing it, whatever the consequences. Courage Please!

slideshow

2008-01-16T00:01:00.000-08:00

Pictures are such wonderful things. I’ve been sitting with a cup of chamomile tea in front of my laptop playing me flashes of memories over the past 10 years – family, friends, rehearsals, shows, London, Amsterdam, Berkeley, Paris, Toulouse, Barcelona, Dublin… I have such a full and blessed life, every day new challenges, joys and adventures!

san francisco is a fierce place to live

2007-12-26T11:24:00.000-08:00

Did I ever tell you that if I could choose the way I would die it would be to be mauled by a big cat? Poor Tatiana..

Happy Christmas

2007-12-24T21:21:00.000-08:00

Its amazing to think that one year ago I was in Devon, brokenhearted and grieving. Now I realize that the experience was one of the best things that happened to me, because it propelled me forward, as if the universe were shouting 'come on, there's so much more you can do with your life! You will have so many wonderful friends and family to help you on your journey!'

I am home with my parents for a couple of days for Christmas and I really appreciate being here, talking with my mother about my blood family, listening to my (adopted) dad,I really do admire his ability to remember everything, and his intelligence and curiosity about life and learning. When I talk to some of my close friends who's parents are no longer living or facing death, I really feel lucky to have my family. My brother and I are really getting to be great friends now that we are older - how great is that?

You all can have my wrapped packages under the iron christmas tree. I have been given so many gifts this year, I am full up.

Merry Christmas

2007-12-19T10:16:00.001-08:00

a call for help

2007-12-08T23:58:00.000-08:00

I want to find my father, Stephen Kloetzer (b. 1950 or 1951 in Ventura). I don't know where or how. Everytime I have asked my mother over the years she has brought up the fact that he is 'a schizophrenic'. Or attacked herself for having no information, she thinks he has another child, and he has a sister. I am afraid always to ask her over the years, not wanting to upset her. I mention it to my adopted father. He offers to help, which I am touched by, but how do I ask him directly? I really have come to love my adopted father and understand him and forgive him for our struggles over the years. But pieces of my life puzzle are missing. My hairdresser told me I should 'go to the town in France where your grandmother was born and see how it feels. And it really stuck when he said this. My grandfather is/was German, maybe this is why I picked up the language so quickly. I always felt drawn towards Germany and France. Other friends tell me that this is something I have to do before I can sort the rest of my life out - like my lovelife for one. One psychic friend (it seems so many friends are) says maybe I don't need to meet him yet he is the one who speaks of the missing pieces to my puzzle, I know these pieces are missing, holding me back, from getting to the next stage of my life. I think, I can do this on my own - I have encouragement from friends. I try the internet. I find an address, go there, no one. I think at one point I may have found my grandfather's name (Walter?) I write a letter. Just before I post it I check the net again - whoever that person was, they died in 1982 (born in 1913). I am crushed. Are my natural paternal grandparents dead? Will I ever know where they came from? Can I somehow see my father? I want to know if I resemble him, what he is like. I feel so hopeless, I am so tired of being on my own, always being strong, positive. I am asking the universe to help me. I just cant do it on my own anymore.

daddy

2007-12-08T21:51:00.000-08:00

what good are my eyes if I cannot see him?
what good are my ears if I do not listen deeply enough?
what good is this heart if it sighs only for romance and does not know true love?
what good is this spirit, stubborn, broken, trying and failing, falling, fallen.

secret-ed beliefs

2007-11-23T11:02:00.000-08:00

In the next year I will
~ be working in an environment where I believe that I have no stress and tons of fun
~ feel I make a difference and am fantastically well paid
~ be juggling my timetable to fit in seeing all of my friends and loved ones
~ be singing in an environment that gives me great joy and connects me spiritually
~ feel a grounded and spiritually nurturing connection with a group
~ let go and feel healed and forgiving

household shopping

2007-11-20T21:55:00.000-08:00

Bought today for new apartment:
13" skillet
Spatula
Set of 4 champagne flutes
Single red wine glass (they only had one of the one I liked)
Wooden spoon (bamboo wood)
Sustainable bamboo wood cutting board (acutally bought it yesterday but wanted to mention that I am trying to buy ethically produced goods)
Cafe Paris teacup and two saucers to complete newly bought set of dishes
Mushroom brush and mushroom slicer

Thanks Guys!

2007-11-17T22:31:00.000-08:00

for completely hooking me up! I am now living in the most amazing little cottage, in the heart of Gourmet Ghetto, Berkeley. Foodie's paradise - my fridge is full of organic veg and fruit from the Thursday farmers market (the whole market is organic), Andronicos and Elephant Pharm and the corner market for staples (there is also a Safeway but I would rather spend more and eat better) there are at least 3 serious coffeehouses within 5 minutes walk (only one is a chain - Peets - but a good chain), a juice collective, a cheeseboard collective, an authentic jewish deli, oh, and a european wine store 3 doors down - I have to stop now - I won't even start on the restaurants yet...
The only drawback so far is the tummyache in the middle of the night lately from overeating - I just get too excited and want to try everything right away!

when waiting is the hardest choice

2007-11-07T21:33:00.000-08:00

Thanks to Yannick for this inspiring quote, from Meditations for Women, http://www.meditationsforwomen.com/dailys/464879.html

Are you facing a difficult time in your life?
Give yourself the gift of patience.
Patience is the main ingredient necessary to get through difficult times.
Yes, its hard to be patient! But without patience, you would have no hope.
And if the universe was organized so that your desires materialized instantly,
that wouldn't serve you either.
Patience helps you grow.
It nourishes both compassion and empathy.
So embrace patience - ultimately it makes you stronger.

Happy Halloween

2007-11-02T11:04:00.000-07:00

wildfires

2007-10-21T14:51:00.000-07:00

This is my parent's front and back yard at 3pm today. There are crazy wildfires all over southern California - Malibu, Santa Rosa, Piru, Fillmore - the closest is around 20 miles away, unfortunately a few homes are threatened and a big castle burned in Malibu, but local web news says only brush has burned closer to us. Mom is all stressed out, and trying to find local news (it mostly talks of Malibu). I am just capturing the changing colours with my camera. I usually love the smell of bonfires, but there is so much ash falling and strong winds, it burns the eyes.

update: Monday 6pm:

14 Fires burning throughout Southern California now, state of emergency declared. This is really bad - 128+ homes have been burned and thousands of acres of brush. There are ashes everywhere - like when Mt. St Helens volcano went so many years ago. There are always fires this time of year but it hasn't been this bad in at least 10 years. And it is always worsened by the dry weather and high winds. One of the worst at foothill ranch has been set by arsonists.

why??????

2007-10-18T16:02:00.000-07:00

http://www.elephantpharm.com/. Check 'em out. I start working in the Berkeley store on 30th October. Berkeley is the 'Covent Garden' of the company (NYR peeps know what I'm sayin' - for non NYR peeps, Berkeley is the 'mothership' of the company) except they are 20 times bigger. Seriously folks, America is a BIG country. It will take me a lifetime to try every healthy/alternative/organic product. Heaven.

I'd like to live walking distance from work - this area of Berkeley is actually called Gourmet Ghetto. And I will happily donate a fair portion of my income to this foodie's paradise. There is an organic farmer's market every Thursday, in addition to every amazing restaurant and specialty food shop you could imagine. Today I had caramalized onion, pear, and blue cheese pizza at cheeseboard, while listening to a fantastic live jazz trio (free live jazz every day).

Have I sold it to all of you already? Play the visa lottery and come live here, we could build a big commune!

Seriously, I don't care that rent has quadrupled since I lived here. I believe. And I lived just 6 blocks from this area years ago, so the squirrels remember me and they will fix me up.

back home?

2007-10-07T10:13:00.000-07:00

Tonight I watched the first 3 episodes of season 1 (new series) of Dr Who with my family. I knew my dad would love it. My awesome friend Kenneth turned me on to Dr Who (I am in California now Kenneth, so I get to use words like awesome).
I feel a bit like the character Rose in the first few episodes, sort of :

Where the hell am I?
But, hey, this is exciting, I love adventure!
Who knows what is around the corner? should I be worried?
No! I am not afraid! I am brave! Carpe diem!
But I am homesick! wait... I am home?!? wait... where am I?'

chocolate chip cookies ARE good for the soul

2007-07-14T09:53:00.000-07:00

I came home from work last night and made chocolate chip cookies for dinner. I was of course pretty wired from the sugar, which was great because it helped me with my packing (I am moving to house sit at a friends in a few weeks) and getting rid of things (I am moving back to CALIFORNIA in October) and was a lovely chocolate hug 'you can do it girl!' I did a nice colour meditation before bed, fell asleep around 1230am, woke with a full spinning head around 630am but thought, 'its ok if I don't fall back asleep, but I would like to, and to have nice dreams'. I did fall back asleep, and dreamt I was at my parent's house, petting their lovely cats and kittens!

I woke up sleepy, with a smile on my face. I am now eating my porridge (porridge, like broccoli, absolves one of all food sins, nourishes nerves, high in B vits, great for High Blood Pressure, High Cholesterol, stress, balances blood sugar levels, will even hoover your carpet and dust your furniture if you ask it politely).

Its grey and warm, I think the sun will come out in the afternoon!

post holiday blah

2007-06-14T15:58:00.000-07:00

It is so hard to come back to reality. I am currently rewarding myself for all my completed tasks with fresh brewed ginger ice tea and organic lemon biscuits.

Completed:

Read and replied to post. Takes up to 6 months.
Rearranged furniture and cleaned room (my usual coping mechanism, completed before task #1)
Opened, filed and organised post
Did 2 loads of laundry

Became Frustrated with:
Nero 7 trial. Downloaded it in hopes of being able to make CDs. A simple task, I would think, but I am stuck. All I want to do is save a bunch of my CDs to my hard drive, with the names of the individual songs listed, so I can later go to 'my music', pick songs and make compilation CDs. Tried using Windows media player and Nero and got totally confused, felt like a computer idiot.

Recovered a bit with:
Updating and adding a bunch of my favourite pages to my blog. It really was only simple cut and paste into the HTML, but it made me feel better!

Looking forward to:
Dancing tonight at Thames Rowing Club!

felicite

2007-06-11T17:22:00.000-07:00

A gourmet day:

Listening to the passion and enthusiasm of the owner of Chateau Joliet as he described the alchemy of wine making - did you know they use fire and water to shape the wine barrels?

Discovering a grape variety I had never heard of - Negrette - dark ruby, floral, smooth.

A visit to the midaevil village Cordes Sur Ciel.

A superb dinner on the terrace of Bistrot Tonin'ty, under a 300 year-old wisteria.

Roasted rack of lamb with lavender, thyme, garlic, courgette and carrot flan.

Rognon de veau flambé au Cognac sauce moutarde à l'ancienne, garniture printanière.

Tarte fine aux pommes, compotée de rhubarbe et glace cannelle.

Mi-cuit au chocolat et glace pain d'épices.

The cinnamon and gingerbread ice creams were so incredible we asked for a second helping.

French coffee, noir, a perfectly smooth taste of bitter.

An evening stroll through the cobbled streets.

the quiet peace, the heat and the sensuality of the evening.

je suis pompette

2007-06-02T02:11:00.000-07:00

Right. Was out with a sweet friend Lin, at a lovely wine bar. Only three glasses (plus a few sips of tasting)... what a light weight, no?

Super evening, talking, catching up... reminiscing about the lovely weekend in Montpellier and so looking forward to Toulouse next week. Funny, never thought I'd be a Francophile, but then je suis arrive et instantement une 'fan'... (that is probably all not real French, no matter). I just loved the people, the way they thought about things, their courtesy (greet and kiss everyone in a group when you arrive), the food (aperitif, entree, course, vin, cafe), the history, the atmosphere... Why has so much architecture and art and history in France survived the war? Did they see that playing the game, eg, accepting the situation, however atrocious, served a longer term goal of preserving art, culture, buildings, history?

Just a tipsy question...

my cat

2007-05-13T10:14:00.000-07:00

When I get home to SF I am getting one of these. Orange and white stripeys are the coolest.

get me outta here now

2007-05-05T20:19:00.000-07:00

What the hell am I doing in this country? After a boring day at work, where I was the only one to sell a 'bundle' (latest promo) half-heartedly at the end of the day, I decided to get a 'burrito' takeaway. Because my landlord (I live in a bed-sit/roommate type situation) is having colleagues/friends for dinner this evening, and I don't want to be in the kitchen. I really wanted to go out, but of course this is one evening everyone is busy, and I thought, great, I can hang out in my room, add some stuff to my MySpace page, watch a film, relax. I look in the phone book - 2 listings under 'Mexican', one I have been to and it was rubbish. So I go to the second place to pick up my 2 vegie burritos for £8.95 (yes, thats about $15). There are 2 containers. I open the top one, it is full of chips. Not tortilla chips, noooo, English chips, about a double order of McDonalds size fries.

"Excuse me, I didn't order these..."
"Oh, it comes with chips."
I hazard a request: "You wouldn't happen to have TORTILLA chips, would you?"
She looks at me, a bit confused. "No, sorry."

I tasted a few of the chips on my way home. Yup, just like McDonalds, tho less salt. I came home, parked and put the chips under my car to discard later (I don't want my bedroom smelling of chips), go upstairs and try the burritos. Two smallish flour tortillas, filled with what looks and tastes like a bland tomato based pasta sauce, with a few mange tout, carrots, tomato chunks, maybe a bit of onion. A couple of jalapenos dot the top of the burritos, along with more tomato sauce, and a glowing green tasteless avocado based creamy paste. (I skipped the cheese and sour'ed cream.) I put some plain yogurt on it, and ate it quickly.

This tragic experience is spurring me to move now. Why the hell wait till the Autumn? The only real joy right now is dancing, and seeing friends. And I have both in SF.

Broccoli is God

2007-04-30T19:31:00.000-07:00

I have great faith in the ability of broccoli to absolve me from all food and drink sins. I went into the zone at Waitrose today, thinking of which veg to get to make mr broccoli really yummy. Oh, I succeeded. Foodie bliss.

Your favourite breed of rice
1 biggish broccoli
1 butternut squash (I attacked it first with the bread knife, chopping it roughly because its so damn hard)
1/2 bulb garlic
Red onion, also attacked with bread knife

Glug some decent olive oil over the veg (but not mr broccoli), and chuck it into a medium/high heat oven for about 45 mins. If you leave some of the outer dry bits on the red onion and break it apart a bit, the outer bits come out like chips, to be devoured immediately as they come out of the oven.

Take the veg out, chop it and mixed it all together while separately steaming the broccoli and boiling the rice.

Add 3 sprigs of fresh marjoram to the olive oil reserves in the veg pan, turn up the heat a bit and caramelize the marjoram.

Mix it all together and eat too much because it tastes so damn good.

newsworthy

2007-04-24T15:14:00.000-07:00

Ok. I am trying to read the news again. A bit at least, the important stuff.

Could this really be happening? Ooh, the anticipation!

an english spring

2007-04-19T01:54:00.000-07:00

April is a lovely month to be in the south of England. The greenhouse effect has particularly favoured us this month, it was hot enough on Monday to sunbathe (and I happened to have the day off), and the past couple of days have been sunny and pleasant.

The wisteria are not flowering yet, but the leaves and branches are climbing up my window. I have a view of the garden, and like to watch the fox sleeping just through the cut doorway in the hedge. There is large pile of brown grass which he sleeps on, encircled and head tucked in, and he blends in perfectly. As I savour my jasmine tea, he raises his head, yawns lazily, tucks his head back in.

Today I have a Gilbert and Sullivan performance with WWOS, singing about 6 arias and ensembles, and a bunch of chorus numbers from most of the G&S operas. My favourite, which I am singing for the first time, is the madrigal from Mikado. Should be fun.

descent

2007-04-10T16:06:00.000-07:00

my castle is crumbling. I am bereft, treading water,h esitant.
what of dance? my muse, tonight, she was aloof.
perhaps it is the venue - or is it england? the english?
too careful, too contained, too polite.
clawing my way into cat's corner, trying desperately to collect and store names, faces.
no, its ok, be business, make connections, set up a blues night, administrate, organise.
they will not love me more if I am a better dancer
would they even deserve it? most of them are simply skilled, clever.
I see very little light in the room
only my first lead, surely african and not english
sigh, perhaps I am overtired,
but I feel something is lacking here, in this place

feet that dont touch the ground

2007-04-08T12:30:00.000-07:00

Wow. What an incredible holiday. I just love my family, I am so happy for them and excited about their interests and self growth. My friends in SF were generous, hospitable and lovely and I really enjoyed seeing them in their new environments - I find it fascinating that so many of my friends are going through major life changes.

I arrived back into London on Thursday, but don't feel back yet. Slept really well on the plane but haven't been sleeping regularly since, my head is spinning, hopping, jiving, tangoing, bluesing. I am learning so much about myself and making wonderful friends dancing!

When I was checking out all of the natural product stores in the bay area I put an application form in with a natural pharmacy, and had a very encouraging conversation with the head of personnel.

I could do it, you know. Move back to SF and have a great job and spend all my evenings dancing and seeing friends. The Lindy hop scene seems better here in London, but SF is the place for blues. Lindy is pure joy, Blues is pure passion. How lucky I am to have discovered both.

holiday or home

2007-03-29T16:25:00.000-07:00

First day in San Francisco. I drove straight to Golden Gate Park and walked around 'my' old haunt, the North Lake. I felt so alive, energised. I wondered if I would be similarly inspired by the sea, and was a bit disappointed, but proud to admit that my hometown Ventura has one of the best beaches (sand, surf, views, not thronged by tourists, don't need to be a movie star to afford to lie on them) in the world.

Walked through Lindley Meadow among the groves of Eucalyptus, Fir and Pine, then sat for a while with my back against a Red Cedar, contemplating my future. What should I do? Should I move back? Could I do it? It scares me, the change. I sought refuge in the tiny health food shops along Fillmore street, looking at the lotions, the aromatherapy oils, all so familiar now, and yet different. I started writing down the names of 'our competitors', wanting to return to NYR and say, 'send me back to SF now, I will find our new store and set it up for you.'

My two friends here are from my past, the world of western medicine, drugs for everything, doctors. One has gone the traditional job, marriage, kids route. The other I see tomorrow - still very much a city girl, I believe. Where would I fit? My friend's father reminded me of it yesterday 'You have a variety of accents'. I want to speak with my own voice, and I think I am finding it, albeit slowly.

I wish I knew where I would be in a year. But for now, I will try to remind myself that I am on holiday, and here to have fun!

arg nit state of mind

2007-03-21T02:14:00.000-07:00

Going home to California tomorrow. I still call it 'home' although I have lived in the UK for nearly 8 years now. I wonder if it will still feel like 'home'? I haven't been there since 2004, and lots of things have changed since then.

I was just looking over my old blogs, and saw a post from October of last year, the 7 year anniversary of my coming to the UK to live. I reasoned then that I would probably rather live in California, and at that time I felt eager to move back. So many things have changed since then, and I am happy to be learning about myself, building friendships here, sometimes struggling but also having fun and dancing!

I have booked to go to my first dance camp in Montpellier, by myself (!) in May, and I may go to Sweden and Prague in the summer as well. I am partly compelled by this 'if I am moving back, I must see all of the places in Europe I wanted to see', isn't this is a great way to live? To make the most of where I am now...

musical genius

2007-03-15T15:33:00.000-07:00

A friend sent me this link which really made my day. Enjoy.

Beat Box Fame Game

my hands smell like carpet shampoo

2007-02-26T14:27:00.000-08:00

I am moving on Wednesday, leap year. Grandpa would have turned 96, had he lived two more years. He had 'good innings', still I really miss him. He was so cool. When he was around 90 he was getting out of his car to go to Carrows one evening and this teenage kid tried to take his car, and grandpa nearly knocked him out! He would have punched my ex for leaving me, and honestly I would have loved to see it.

I was really inspired today reading Lynette's MySpace posting of Steph's comments on love. I have a stone that has the word 'patience' written on it, and I think I'll carry it in my pocket!

feeling a helluva lot better

2007-02-10T01:52:00.000-08:00

Went to meditation class this evening, feeling grounded now. Focus on the present, I think, for the time being, as I get pretty dark and panicky if I go too far into the future.

As the roots of a plant anchor it in the ground and give it stability, the knowledge of one's cultural and spiritual heritage gives a sure foundation on which to build one's sense of identity...

recipe

2007-02-01T06:54:00.000-08:00

ingredients:

1 heart
very very sharp knife
pair of gloves
jiffy bag, pre-addressed
phone

phone courier, arrange for a pick-up at 2pm sharp. Pre-pay.
at 1:45pm go to kitchen. Put gloves on.
place 2 fingers to the left of breast bone.
exhale completely, and place tip of knife to the left of two fingers, holding with both hands.
inhale sharply, at the same time driving knife deep into chest.
twist knife into a careful circle, counterclockwise, the shape of a small fist.
using right hand, carefully scoop out heart, discarding small bone fragments.
place in pre-addressed jiffy bag.
go to front door, place bag outside of front door, close door.

don't worry. it wont really hurt. it's only physical pain.

snow!

2007-01-24T01:33:00.000-08:00

I ambled sleepily to the french windows this morning, tea in hand and pushed back the curtains to find the garden full of snow! Only a few inches, but fresh and beautiful. I wish I hadn't given the camera away, I would take a picture!

Good news, I think I have found a new place, with a lovely friend who I have done shows with, who is a vicar, so I would be living in the vicarage! Big house, lovely dining room and garden, the furniture in the lounge is really really old fashioned but I suppose appropriate for him to meet the old parishioners. Oh and a sheepdog, no cat (!) but a nice sheepdog and I would feel safe with him in the house if alone, I suppose. He is 12, so pretty mellow, maybe I could push for a cat later, I think a cat would revive his youth...

popspiration

2007-01-18T09:52:00.000-08:00

Thanks to reading everyone's spine-chingling pop culture moments at the Roundtable, I finally found the title of my favourite Stevie Wonder song - the chorus has been chasing around in my head on and off for ages. I am going to go out and buy the cd. I just love the lyrics:

Over time, Ive building my castle of love
Just for two, though you never knew you were my reason
Ive gone much too far for you now to say
That Ive got to throw my castle away

Over dreams, I have picked out a perfect come true
Though you never knew it was of you Ive been dreaming
The sandman has come from too far away
For you to say come back some other day

And though you dont believe that they do
They do come true
For did my dreams
Come true when I looked at you
And maybe too, if you would believe
You too might be
Overjoyed, over loved, over me

Over hearts, I have painfully turned every stone
Just to find, I had found what Ive searched to discover
Ive come much too far for me now to find
The love that Ive sought can never be mine

And though you dont believe that they do
They do come true
For did my dreams
Come true when I looked at you
And maybe too, if you would believe
You too might be
Overjoyed, over loved, over me

And though the odds say improbable
What do they know
For in romance
All true love needs is a chance
And maybe with a chance you will find
You too like i
Overjoyed, over loved, over you, over you

no longer anonymous

2007-01-14T12:12:00.000-08:00

I want to form a women's group. This idea has been at the back of my mind for years now, but really coming forward as I have been reading so many self help books lately. So many people I know have read the books and watched the films and have been inspired. But for how long? I find the words stay with me for a day, a few days perhaps. I have participated in singing workshops, drama workshops, healing workshops, meditation groups, and find that their energetic imprint goes deeper, and longer-lasting. But there is usually a high cost involved. Worth it, once every 6 months or year, but I would love to have this input once a week! Why does one have to be a recovering Alcoholic to get such amazing support? Why have we isolated ourselves so much from our community?

I am going through a challenging time, as you all know. And you all have been amazing, I just wish I could speak with you more often, and in person. The energy of being all together in a group, all committed to self-growth is amazing. So I want to start this conversation. Maybe it is happening on the web somewhere, but if not it should be. Maybe I should found it... like MySpace, but NOT about advertising your band, or dating, or some of the other lovely but different hobbies/common interest groups. Where you could put in your postal code or zip code and find a group in your area to meet and talk on a weekly or fortnightly basis. Basically free, or just money to cover drinks/tea and healthy snacks. And the groups I guess would vary according to that community's/member's needs. But I want my group to be:

Female only to start, around 10 people, sort of 30's and above.
Women really 'on the path' of self-growth, pro-actively learning to know and love their true selves with stories to tell about their paths, eg discussing books they are reading and really digesting (doing the exercises and meditations in the books and/or thinking/writing/discussing themes)
Taking responsibility for their physical health, with a healthy diet,exercise, using holistic and conventional medicine as appropriate
Willing to listen without judgment, also able to speak one's own truth, look at things positively, also able to be angry or sad but try to recognise when anger and sadness are a healthy release and when it is attention seeking or remaining stuck or control or fear of freedom.

I will find or create a group like this within the next 6 months.

goodbye 2006

2006-12-31T11:16:00.000-08:00

Although the past two months of 2006 have been hard, there have also been good moments, so here is to 2006, thank you and goodbye! A few 'highlights' (no 'Sunday paper' glossies avail, so please imagine in vivid colour:)

Birthday Tea at The Lanesborough
Holiday in Dominican Republic
Studying essential oils in Les Labradours, France
Playing Julie Jordan in Carousel
Herbalism weekend with Christopher Headley (Gandalf) in Dorset
Moving into our lovely garden flat and having friends around for dinner on the patio
A perfect, hot day at the beach in Vessegeburo, Sweden
Hiking in the Swiss Alps
Taking Carcinocin after the hell month of too much work and suddenly making more friends and arranging party evenings
Starting Kung Fu
Simon leaving the apartment and separation
Everyone at work and friends being amazingly supportive
Reaching out and reaching in
Walking on the beach at Slapton Ley, Devon, on Boxing Day
Synergy New Years Eve Party...

day by day

2006-12-03T14:34:00.000-08:00

The last post turned out to be a big, big turning point. I have spent a lot of time lately feeling alternatively extremely challenged and inspired,and wanted to post some of the web sites which I have found. I have not had a TV for nearly 6 months now, and do miss the amazing BBC nature programmes, but there is so much amazing TV on the web, and the best bit is that I choose what I'd like to watch! I am finding it a great way to begin to pick up on the vast amount of information on 'green issues' such as ethical (and safe!)consumerism. I decided to check out Sam Suds cartoon at pvcfree.org for a start!

mrowrumph

2006-11-28T12:59:00.000-08:00

this is how I feel today. I got it from mycathatesyou.

blah blah

2006-11-16T14:38:00.000-08:00

Alcohol is evil. For me, that is... Wish I could just get lightly pissed (or even totally drunk) like normal people and enjoy it. But no, I get all stressed out and feel ill and hate everyone and am all criticalness.

Mind, I started the day in a shitty mood. I blame the potatoes. They are evil too (not as evil as alcohol, but nearly). Had a bunch of potatoes with dinner Tuesday eve and then had a million dreams Tuesday eve and woke up feeling like I'd been run over several times by a huge sofa. Work was a bit of a blur, those days where you feel like you have a million things to do, so you go and get coffee from the supermarket and rice milk from the health food store and by the time you've made it and drunk it, it's lunchtime, and hardly anything's gotten done.

I had an appointment after work with a 'laser-cosmetic surgery nurse' at some posh spa in Elmer's End to ask about having my legs done (preferably bikini line down). Yah, its for vanity, but also because if I don't shave (my calves, I hardly bother with my thighs) with a new razor or do it too quickly the hairs ingrow and itch like hell a couple of days later. Well, at 6min treatments for £500 a pop, its out of my league. At some point I will probably be able to afford it, but by that time I will probably be too old to care. Wish sometimes I'd gone for the money option over the love option.

But that's probably the evil, critical wine and dark chocolate dessert hangover talking. Best to get off to sleep before I do too much mental damage.

catbus

2006-11-02T02:50:00.000-08:00

I recently watched My Neighbour Totoro again. I just love the concept of the catbus. Did you know that in Japan, if cats are old and wizened, they are thought to possess magical, shape-shifting powers. So this cat decided to become a bus! Wouldn't this be a great way to encourage using public transport?!

peeps

2006-10-28T13:48:00.000-07:00

Remember Peeps? This entry at Chocolate Obsession is hilarious...

an auspicious day

2006-10-17T03:15:00.000-07:00

As of today, I have been in the UK for 7 years. Strange, I would never have guessed I would be living here this long. I am still very undecided about this place. When I first arrived, I was shocked at the difference in the standard of living between here and the US. There are many things that I miss:

My lovely friends in the US
Taquerias for fantastic, healthy, cheap take-away
Jamba Juice, or other smoothie places
Cafes that are open late and NOT Starbucks
The beach and the sea on my doorstep
The sun - although global warming has favoured south east England’s climate this summer and autumn
The openness and friendliness and easiness of making new friends in California
Cheap gas (this has changed), cheap rent (this also)

But then there are things that I only first experienced here in the UK:

Warm days in the summer with lush greenness everywhere
Letting go of the need to identify myself with an ‘ache/pain’ or a daily ‘drama’ and just being present in the moment
Not feeling that I need to be beautiful or look put together all the time (still working on this)
News media that is much more free speech than in the US (although I hardly follow news, it is still mostly alarmist and depressing here)
Meeting people who are really into issues such as organics and sustainability, although I work in a different industry than I did in the US
Actually, perhaps these things were always present around me in the US and I wasn’t ready/able to notice them before?

Things I worry about returning, and/or don’t want to be influenced by:

Obsession with money and identification by what car you drive, what your career is, your house, etc (my american friends weren’t like this, but the general overall energy affected me and I would obsess on wanting more ‘stuff’ - I still ‘daydream/shop’ but much, much less)
George W Bush - why do I hate him so? I dont know him personally, but he has done so many hurtful, careless, selfish things and so many have suffered/died because of his administration
I worry I will be drawn into my parents ‘script’ if I live closer to them, yet in so many ways I love and understand them and celebrate who they choose to be without trying to fix them (tho sometimes I cant help but try to suggest my ideas)
What if I cant find a job and suffer financially? Although this has never been a problem. I just want the same job or similar to what I do now, but for a slightly better standard of living (one more bedroom, and a cat or two
I think if I really look at what I’ve written, it seems that I would rather live in the US. There is a chance of possibly moving with my company, but the date is uncertain, possibly the next year or two. I guess it would be better to come post Bush anyway...

musical exploration

2006-09-29T13:15:00.000-07:00

Bought my first Carpenters CD today! She has such a fantastic voice, so rich and such amazing legato and breath control! They had real singers back then. I was just a kid in the 70s but remember quite a few of the songs, and they are all so positive and 'feel good'. What is your favourite Carpenter's song?

whirr... whirr

2006-09-08T14:42:00.000-07:00

I bought a sewing machine today! It is still in the box. I am a bit scared of it. One of my colleagues at work says she will show me how to thread it. I havent tried to thread a machine in over 25 years - I think I knew how to, once. I have wanted to do something creative that is not singing for a few years now and I keep looking at sewing classes each autumn and spring and now that I am fed up with my job (working too damn much lately and it finally wore me down) I really need something to 'switch off' with (that doesn't damage my liver or blood sugar levels ;) ). I have been trying to get through to Morley college, in hopes of signing up for a Monday class, which starts week after next. Must get some scrap fabric to play with...

2006-09-02T14:07:00.000-07:00

the hills were alive

2006-08-21T10:57:00.000-07:00

I can now play Maria in Sound of Music because I have been there. We had a lovely holiday in Switzerland, hiking in the mountains and breathing the fresh clear air!

more stuff on my cat

2006-07-31T02:11:00.000-07:00

I must link this website onto my blog. I just love stuffonmycat.com

lazy sunday

2006-07-16T03:15:00.000-07:00

Hurrah! The first Sunday we have had off together since probably Easter. I love lazy Sundays. The weather is gorgeous, Ive just sent my hubby off to get some eggs and the paper and I am looking forward to brunch in the garden.

My life the past month (I am one of these lazy 'monthly' bloggers) has been blissfully domestic. After over 5 years in the South of England living as a lodger and being a student, I have a 5 day a week job with people I enjoy working with and products I passionately believe in, and a sweet little apartment with a garden and a kitchen all my own...

The only thing missing is a little thing to raise and nurture (aside from my spoiled husband).

Hmmmm, what shall it be, a kitten, or a child?

help with rose songs

2006-06-21T14:35:00.001-07:00

I am doing a presentation on roses in a few weeks and have been all over the web trying to find a few classical songs or early musical theatre/parlour songs about roses. I am not too fond of 'The Last Rose of Summer', I like the few Quilter songs I have found but am not sure if they fit. I know a couple of Schumann songs (Meine Rose), I wish I could find more in English, or an American folk song or musical song! Any ideas?

help with rose songs

2006-06-21T14:35:00.000-07:00

moving!

2006-05-17T10:34:00.000-07:00

We are moving to a lovely little conversion flat with a patio and garden on June 1st. The garden is shared with the other 3 tenants but the patio is ours, and I have been obsessing about pot plants. I have never had my own garden/patio and this is my first experience (aside from a token house plant) to grow things. I checked about 6 books out of the library and so far, my favourite combination is a spiky red australian palm contrasted with the soft silver leaves of lemon liquorice and bright pink african daisies.

I will also grow some herbs, just trying to find out which are the most hardy for the english climate!

who thinks of these things

2006-04-21T13:10:00.000-07:00

You must check out this site. Hilarious.

easter naturally

2006-04-16T13:19:00.000-07:00

Today we had pre-dyed easter eggs at my in-laws. How lazy is that? To not even take the time to dye the eggs, which is most of the fun (aside from the hiding, we just hid the chocolate eggs instead). But surfing around this evening, I have made plans for next easter and how to dye my eggs properly. Did you know the pre-bought dyes are carcinogenic? No surprise, really. But you do have a choice.

Check this great site out.

Mozartballs

2006-03-22T08:46:00.000-08:00

Imagine my surprise and excitement to find a DVD of Mozartballs when I got home last evening! My partner and I watched it straight away, and I rode a few emotional roller coasters seeing Steph and Lynette in the film, especially in the light of having visited them and spoken about the filming experience just after finishing shooting in Vienna last Autumn. Wow. My only wish was to have had the film be entirely about them! (although the other 3 people had interesting perspectives). I have only watched it once (so far...)

movin' on up

2006-03-02T12:51:00.000-08:00

Yay, just got a sweet new car! Our first car (see Monday entry below) was damaged while parked, which turned out to be a blessing, because it was just too big for me to drive on the tiny UK neighborhood roads. The insurance company was thankfully completely disorganised and took ages to sort out having the Monday looked at and finally written off, but during all this time we had a free new rental car for well over a month. The rental car was a Vauxhall Corsa and I loved it, and felt much more secure driving it as it was smaller. So I found this sweet girl (it is definitely a girl) on Autotrader. She is a Sport version too, and has a spunky little growl...

eyebright update

2006-02-19T09:24:00.000-08:00

I have been putting drops of eyebright tea into my eyes for 3 days now, plus drinking a bit of the tea, and I wore my contact lenses for the first time today. When I first put them in this morning I felt a bit sick, like the lenses were too strong for my eyes! I have heard that eyebright can improve your vision, but in 3 days?? I seemed to get used to it after a while, and my contact lenses did not hurt at all, and have felt fine all day!

blintz heaven

2006-02-19T09:13:00.000-08:00

Sometimes you just cook such an amazing dish that you have to brag about it. Well, there is a new organic bio live yogurt flavour - coconut, and it is greek style too, so really thick and creamy (but not full of sugar like fruit yogurts!) and I don't digest cheese and ice cream well but live yogurt is fine, so.... this morning I made blintzes. They were my favourite sweet breakfast as a child and my health conscious, moderately sweet-toothed adult palate loved my grown-up version:

make a dozen or so french crepes (using 200g flour, 2 eggs, rice milk, 100g melted butter and a bit of sugar)
fill the hot crepe with a generous dollop of coconut yogurt, st dalfour blueberry preserves (no sugar and NO evil aspartame/sugar substitute), sliced blackberries and/or sliced bananas)
roll/fold into your preferred shape and enjoy!

eyebright

2006-02-15T11:08:00.000-08:00

My eyes have really been hurting lately. I know that I wear my contact lenses too much but they don't usually irritate this much. After about a week of real discomfort in the afternoons, it dawned on me that I could of course treat my eyes with eyebright (euphrasia) herb, as I sell it nearly every other day in the shop!

I made some weak tea with dried eyebright herb and washed my eyes with it. They felt much better straight away, and I plan to use it for a few days (and try to wear my glasses) and let you know how it goes. The dried herb looks like little black sticks, nothing like the pretty flowers in the picture! Here is some blurb on what eyebright does:

Eyebright tightens the mucous membranes of the eye and appears to relieve the inflammation of conjunctivitis and blepharitis. Its ability to counter catarrh means that it is often used for infectious and allergic conditions affecting the eyes, middle ear, sinuses and nasal passages.

The whole plant is anti-inflammatory, astringent, digestive, ophthalmic and slightly tonic. It is taken internally in the treatment of catarrh, sinusitis, hay fever, upper respiratory tract infections etc. As an ophthalmic, an infusion of the plant can be taken internally or used as an eye wash.

plant friends

2006-02-10T13:35:00.000-08:00

Went to Kew Gardens today with my Natural Medicine Course. It was great. I've been there two or three times and usually wander around aimlessly smelling and enjoying the colours of plants but today I really felt more connected. It is winter, so we looked at the pine and cedar trees (I have always loved pine and cedar trees), and then our guide pointed out a witch hazel tree - who would have known that witch hazel has beautiful bright yellow flowers! It was lovely to make a connection between a live tree and a product that I sell in my shop (witch haze is a skin toner, also you can put some on cotton wool and it is very cooling and soothing, try placing it over tired eyes!). I have never had an interest before in growing anything aside from a house plant but the idea of growing herbs in the garden really is starting to appeal to me. I am going to start with chamomile very soon, as I have chosen it is my plant study for this course. I absolutely love chamomile - it has such a cheeky, happy spirit!

new show

2006-01-26T13:42:00.000-08:00

Great News! I just got the role of Julie Jordan in Carousel. My first American musical - funny, I've always done G&S or opera (or Brecht/Weil). Have a look at the West Wickham Operatic Society website. Very exciting...

happy birthday

2006-01-02T15:47:00.000-08:00

Today for my birthday we went to tea at The Lanesborough. We had been there once before, for our first anniversary, and it was lovely as always. I much prefer it to the Ritz, because at the Ritz they only allow you one hour and here you can linger as long as you like, and the service and tea are delicious! We then went to Foyle's bookstore in Charing Cross road. I have really been struggling to find a good page turner fiction book, but could not find something I wanted! I don't really want a romance, or a book where one describes some great strife... I want something like Life of Pi, or Phillip Pullman's trilogy, or Harry Potter.... basically good prose style, a positive/uplifting story, with a positive ending... Any suggestions?

post christmas

2005-12-28T13:32:00.000-08:00

Having a quiet evening, enjoying a bit of tea and homemade Stollen whilst checking my favourite blogs and watching my husband build Legos. We managed a fairly stressifree bit of Christmas Sale shopping, only visiting four stores (Clarks shoes, Hatchards, Fortnum and Mason and Harrods.) We went to Harrods to see the giant dinosaur made of Legos (180,000 bricks!). My husband is a little bit obsessed with legos. I don't mind. There are worse vices.

monday

2005-11-12T10:01:00.000-08:00

Feeling very posh. I have lived for 6 years in England and for the first time I have my own car!! It is just a little used car, but it was generally well taken care of, and it has a sunroof. It is a Ford Mondeo.

I have been driving all around my neighborhood and the surrounding towns today and have come to the conclusion that it is much nicer to live here when you see it by car! Somehow it is not so great on the bus, or the train, but I did not need a car until 2 years ago when I moved from London to Kent, and we kept taking extravagant holidays in lieu of buying 'stuff' until recently.

Funnily, it cost twice the cost of the car to insure it for the year, and nearly £50 just to fill the gas tank (nearly $100, so be grateful, my USA friends, I know your fuel costs have risen sharply in the past few years, but you still have a way to go to catch up to the UK.)

I will still take the bus to work, because it takes 5 minutes and is so convenient, and it is nightmare to park near my work. But it will be great to visit friends and not have to rush to catch the last train (which is usually around 11pm!) and to be able to take little weekend trips and see more of England.

This country really grows on me...

a game

2005-11-07T15:40:00.000-08:00

Guess what this sound is? Click here.

maracas

thunder

snow leopard

missing california

2005-10-29T18:23:00.000-07:00

I went to a mexican restaurant for a friend's birthday tonight. The food was ok, not like Cali-Mex (the chips looked scary and the guacamole was brown but tasted ok) but it was so smoky in the restaurant I felt a bit ill by the end! Miss the whole 'non smoking restaurant' thing. Hope it happens soon here, but can't imagine it very soon. Would rather have been poking the giant whoopie cushion at D's Halloween party!

quick bite

2005-10-20T04:04:00.000-07:00

I have been catching up on the Incurable Insomniac's blog and clicking on just a couple of links, feeling absolutely overwhelmed by the amount of blogging that goes on in the world. Linking to one site led me into this world of retiree sites, fascinating. Wish I had more time (I have about an hour every few days) or made more time for this. It really puts things into perspective and helps me crawl out of my self involved cave!

Stolen (again) from the Insomniac's games:

Three things:

what you like about yourself: my sense of humour
what others like about you: my eyes
what you don't like about yourself: my harsh self judgment

driving license

2005-10-12T03:58:00.000-07:00

To celebrate that I have held a California driving license for 20 years in January, I am going to get a UK driving license! That way, when we get a car (which is happening very soon) I will legally be able to drive it. Get this, when you first live in the UK, you are legal to drive with a foreign license for the first year. Thereafter (unless you are EU, in which case it is fine) you must have a UK driving license to drive legally. So the first year, when you have no clue what the signs mean, how to manouvere roundabouts or which side of the road to drive on, you are cool to risk life and limb. Thereafter, no go.. bizarre.

I started reading one of the DSA (Driving Standards Agency) manuals today. This test will largely be a matter of learning British english. For example, there are at least 4 different names for a crosswalk. Like most British names, they are really cute and twee:

Zebra Crossing - marked by zig-zag lines
Pelican Crossing - a signal controlled crossing (flashing amber lights)
Puffin Crossing - like a Pelican but no flashing lights
Toucan Crossing- like a Puffin

I was just looking for a picture of a zebra crossing and discovered that there is logic behind the twee-ness, two of the crossings are anacronyms:

Pelican = Pedestrian Light Controlled Crossing (sort of)
Puffin = Pedestrian User-Friendly INtelligent

broody

2005-10-08T04:14:00.000-07:00

Ok. I am going to find us a proper apartment because I want my cats now. I have been waiting for years and years to have a cat family and I am ready now.

I want two boys, an abyssinian and a blue russian. Aren't they adorable?

googling around

2005-10-07T12:05:00.000-07:00

This was fun! Stole this idea from the Incurable Insomniac's weblog. You google "(your name) needs" (put it in quotes) and see what comes up. This is what I got. Unravel the cosmic message...

YOUR KARMA NEEDS ADJUSTING
Karma needs a nudge
Karma needs to be solved
Karma needs to be plugged into USB port and show as active
Karma needs to be redirected
Karma needs to be met and dealt with
Karma needs to eat his own deep fried penis while singing the Canadian national...
Karma needs to be understood in the context of rain formation
Karma needs to be 1/5 higher than your age, also be at least 60 days old
Karma needs the agitation of the mind to stick
Karma needs to be connected
Karma needs surgery to repair his ailing heart
Perhaps "karma" needs to be replaced with the words "narcissism health meter"?
All karma needs to be dissolved in divine love

Grandpa (29 January 1911 - 13 September 2005)

2005-10-03T15:00:00.000-07:00

Ah, leave me not to pine, alone and desolate
No fate seemed fair as mine, no happiness so great
And nature day by day has sung in accents clear
this joyous roundelay
He loves thee, he is here
Fa La La La
Fa La La La
He loves the he is here
Fa La La
Fa La, Fa La

from Pirates of Penzance

I miss you grandpa. I thought of you all during this song at rehearsal. I wish you could have heard me sing it. I wish I could have seen you one more time before you died. You will always hold a warm place in my heart. Thank you for loving me completely and unconditionally, and for believing in me.

Hug you and kiss your precious hands.

yummy shells

2005-05-04T07:01:00.000-07:00

Pasta shells are so cool. I cooked some conchiglie and stirred in a big dollop of sun-dried tomato sauce, with spinach and pine nuts. Sometimes I get this big squishy bite of sun-dried sauce that has expertly hidden in one of the shells, sometimes its just a bit of sauce flavoured around the outside of the shell.

This has been the highlight of my day so far (how sad!). It is one of those blah..zzzzzzeee....days off days. Simon has a concert in east London tonight, I have to get ready soon. I will bring a book for the train journey. I have been reading The Fragrant Pharmacy by Valerie Ann Worwood (still really keen on essential oils!). A woman came into the shop yesterday asking for a relaxing massage oil, and I made up a nice custom blend - vetiver, lavender and chamomile. It is so fun, like cooking (I am going to try cooking with essential oils next, more on that later) I am thinking of taking a one year course in aromatherapy and massage next year- (NYR runs one year accredited courses). I am currently trying to decide between aromatherapy/massage, homeopathy, or natural medicine. The nice bit about the aromatherapy is at the end of the year I would be able to practice professionally...

spring

2005-04-20T12:44:00.000-07:00

Haven't really had any time to write lately! Its funny, but when life is going well, I tend not to write, so I guess its been a really great few weeks. For one thing, I have been permanently hired on with NYR, and that feels good. I was struggling when I first accepted the management position, largely because I felt so resentful that this was very much NOT the professional singer job I had been dreaming of and working towards for most of my adult life. I felt frustrated and low about it until I was at one point actually threatened with losing this job, and I realised that I had to make a decision to work at it 100% or drop it. Ever since I decided to commit fully to it, I have felt so much better about the work and about myself in general.

The company is really committed to training, which I love. Yesterday I took a company-run day course on aromatherapy.

We were given samples to smell (note quality is everything with essential oils and source organic when ever possible), and we were not to guess the name of the oil but to discern the scent layers of the oil. Each oil has top, middle and bottom 'notes'. It suddenly became like wine tasting and more, because each oil not only smells differently, but also evokes a whole range of emotions. I was amazed at how powerfully I was affected by rose, not surprising as it is all about love, forgiveness, comfort, gentleness. Did you know that rose is also fantastic for skin, especially dry, red hot skin? It is also a hormone balancer for men (infertility) and women (menopause). When I smelt lemon oil I actually felt 'uplifted', I was suddenly smiling and my mouth was watering - it is a known appetite stimulant (it acts on the bile duct), it is a great insect repellent, can be applied neat to treat acne and warts and it helps stop the spread of spider veins and varicose veins (as it tones the capillary wall), it is a circulatory/detox tonic, and a fantastic antiviral, the first oil to use for colds and flu. In Australia it was used in hospitals and they cut the incidence of MRSA by 75%...

My other favorite oils were:

Bergamont - excellent for driven, angry, hot (chinese medicine) liver&adrenal male energy, and cooling (hence Earl Grey tea is excellent in the summer).

Geranium - balancing, sweet, calming, great for anxiousness, restlessness, waking up hot at night (like menopause), children's fevers, sunburn&dry heat.

Frankinsense - an oil with depth, first sharp and bitter then rich and complex, meditative, rooted. it is about letting go, being in the moment, regenerating the spirit.

spring clean

2005-04-06T13:58:00.000-07:00

I have started an anti-candidia diet based on Erica White's Beat Candidia book. It means cutting out all yeast and sugar, including fructose, so no fruit (except lemons), lactose (except live yogurt, cottage cheese and butter),no bread made with yeast (obviously), no white rice or pasta, no prepackaged soy products like sausages/burgers (basically nothing prepackaged), no vinegar, packaged dressings or condiments, but I can eat tofu and organic chicken, fish, ryvita, brown rice, quinoa, any vegetable, etc...

It takes months but it really works and really helps anything from chronic fatigue to fibroids (my friend Deb) and ibs and obviously chronic candidia/bladder problems (which is what I have had). According to Erica candidia is epidemic in western society (which makes sense thinking of the typical western diet combined with steroidal drugs like ibuprofen and the pill and long term antibiotic use).

I will stick to it until our New York trip in June.

I actually dont have to cut out much of what I normally eat, just the odd glass of wine and occasional desserts. One challenge is probably cutting fruit out of my breakfast! When I first tried it a month or so I cut out bread and I don't really miss that too much.

The biggest challenge is eating in restaurants. We have a friend's birthday party on Saturday, and I am wondering if I can get away with the couscous, do they put vinegar or some sort of sauce on it?? I had prawns on tuesday and I could feel the vinegar the next day (I am that sensitive now, which is both cool and sometimes frustrating...).

It is helpful that my colleague at work is on it now and has done it before so can advise me on supplements, and we can think of interesting alternatives to salad!

sun!

2005-04-03T14:27:00.000-07:00

I had a great day. It felt like I was living in the moment, without judging myself or anyone or trying to be anything. We did stocktake at work, which was actually fun, listening to classical radio and joking around with Al, Deb and Bel. And when I left at 3pm, the weather was gorgeous. Sunny and warm, and I walked though the park, sitting at the top of the hill for a bit before coming home and then laying out in the garden.

There is nothing like sun in Britain, it feels so magic because it is such a change to the often grey and rainy weather. Not only does it lift my spirits, I feel grateful for good weather! Funny coming from a native Californian. Which gets me thinking, it is really about attitude here, because some things aren't as 'nice' or 'warm' or 'rich country' as the USA, but I have a choice in how I can view that. I can moan about it the whole time, which I have done a lot (it is very difficult not to moan about British rail and the tube as it really is a farce), or I can appreciate the difference and be thankful for small things (and big things too) that happen now. Like today being sunny and me getting off work early enough to enjoy it. And feeling really good and connected on an energetic level singing today, which felt like I was discovering a nurturing way of practicing.

I am going to curl up with a book and bed soon even though it is only 10:30! Quite the opposite of my dear insomniac friend, who is the inspiration for and designer of this blog! Thanks again Steph, I really like it!